1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,909 Sync & corrections by wilson0804 www.Addic7ed.com 2 00:00:03,350 --> 00:00:06,109 Halloween has always been my favorite holiday. 3 00:00:06,177 --> 00:00:08,878 It's the one day of the year we get to embrace our fears, 4 00:00:08,946 --> 00:00:10,380 no matter what they might be or who they might... 5 00:00:10,448 --> 00:00:13,517 God! Come on, Chloe. 6 00:00:13,887 --> 00:00:15,721 What up, donkey? 7 00:00:15,789 --> 00:00:19,190 Can you please stop putting heads everywhere? 8 00:00:19,258 --> 00:00:23,061 Hey. Didn't you sleep here again last night? 9 00:00:23,128 --> 00:00:24,996 Was it that, like, the fourth night this week? 10 00:00:25,064 --> 00:00:27,999 So what is your costume this year? Detective ass-basket? 11 00:00:28,067 --> 00:00:31,503 It's another holiday for you to ruin with your snarky comments. 12 00:00:31,571 --> 00:00:32,938 No, that is not true. 13 00:00:33,005 --> 00:00:35,372 I love Halloween. I love everything about it. 14 00:00:35,440 --> 00:00:37,942 Really? 'Cause it's my favorite, too, especially this year, 15 00:00:38,009 --> 00:00:39,577 because it's the first time in forever 16 00:00:39,644 --> 00:00:41,178 that Steven and I haven't been together. 17 00:00:41,245 --> 00:00:43,714 You know, I've always been part of a couple's costume. 18 00:00:43,782 --> 00:00:45,583 I was always Steven's "and something," 19 00:00:45,650 --> 00:00:47,351 you know, doctor and sexy nurse, 20 00:00:47,418 --> 00:00:49,687 or doctor and sexy patient. 21 00:00:49,754 --> 00:00:50,987 Sherlock ho. 22 00:00:51,054 --> 00:00:54,557 Mm, I should've called you Sherlock ho. 23 00:00:54,625 --> 00:00:56,893 ♪ I'm not perfect, I'm no snitch ♪ 24 00:00:56,961 --> 00:00:58,561 ♪ but I can tell you ♪ 25 00:00:58,629 --> 00:01:00,229 ♪ she's a... ♪ 26 00:01:00,297 --> 00:01:02,932 ♪ Ba-da-da-da-da-ba, ba-da-ba ♪ 27 00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:06,302 ♪ ba-da-da-da-da-ba, ba-da-ba ♪ 28 00:01:06,370 --> 00:01:08,804 Hey, you want to do something fun and Halloween-y tonight? 29 00:01:08,872 --> 00:01:11,439 Like, I'm great at bobbing for apples. 30 00:01:11,508 --> 00:01:13,942 I can fit, like, three in my mouth at once. 31 00:01:14,010 --> 00:01:15,911 "A," you have never been sexier, 32 00:01:15,979 --> 00:01:17,513 "B," I'm sorry. I can't. I'm busy. 33 00:01:17,580 --> 00:01:20,348 Did you get it? 34 00:01:20,416 --> 00:01:22,250 I just sent out the e-mail for my Halloween party. 35 00:01:28,790 --> 00:01:30,224 Hi, friends. 36 00:01:30,291 --> 00:01:32,292 Who needs fear when we have... 37 00:01:32,360 --> 00:01:33,494 Love? 38 00:01:35,263 --> 00:01:36,931 Whee! 39 00:01:36,999 --> 00:01:38,965 Whee! Oh! Brr! 40 00:01:39,033 --> 00:01:41,535 I love ice cream. 41 00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:43,469 This is the invite for your Halloween party? 42 00:01:43,538 --> 00:01:45,371 James is terrified of Halloween. 43 00:01:45,439 --> 00:01:47,373 Yeah, I hate being scared. I mean, hate it. 44 00:01:47,441 --> 00:01:49,475 Hate it worse than I hate applause for other people. 45 00:01:49,544 --> 00:01:51,645 So every year, James throws a positivity party 46 00:01:51,712 --> 00:01:53,413 where we celebrate life and happiness. 47 00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:55,981 Absolutely no scary costumes, just happy ones. 48 00:01:56,049 --> 00:01:57,449 It all started when I was a kid. 49 00:01:57,517 --> 00:02:00,052 My dad played me a vhs tape of "Halloween" on Christmas. 50 00:02:00,119 --> 00:02:02,154 Ruined two holidays at once. 51 00:02:04,290 --> 00:02:06,725 Thanks for going to the movies with me, mark. 52 00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:08,727 Halloween and chick flicks are converging 53 00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:10,529 into the perfect package 54 00:02:10,596 --> 00:02:13,097 in Katherine Heigl's "trick or... baby?" 55 00:02:13,165 --> 00:02:16,000 I'm just happy to get out of the apartment. 56 00:02:16,068 --> 00:02:19,604 Halloween is a... dark time for my girlfriend. 57 00:02:19,672 --> 00:02:22,206 Candy and kids make Jennifer feel fat. 58 00:02:23,709 --> 00:02:24,876 Oh, my God. 59 00:02:24,944 --> 00:02:26,877 Wait. Is that Chloe? 60 00:02:26,945 --> 00:02:29,746 What is she doing here? She hates chick flicks. 61 00:02:29,814 --> 00:02:31,615 She says they send out a negative message 62 00:02:31,683 --> 00:02:33,383 that women need to be in a relationship to be happy 63 00:02:33,451 --> 00:02:35,586 and Kate Hudson. 64 00:02:36,921 --> 00:02:40,057 Who is that? 65 00:02:40,124 --> 00:02:41,825 You don't think they're together. Are they? 66 00:02:41,893 --> 00:02:45,561 She's reaching over into his lap. She's gonna grab his Peter. 67 00:02:45,629 --> 00:02:47,229 She's gonna grab his Peter right here. 68 00:02:47,297 --> 00:02:48,864 Oh. 69 00:02:48,932 --> 00:02:50,499 Just popcorn. 70 00:02:50,567 --> 00:02:52,568 She's nestling into him. 71 00:02:52,636 --> 00:02:54,670 Is she out on a date? 72 00:02:54,738 --> 00:02:57,039 Because Chloe doesn't go out on dates. 73 00:02:57,107 --> 00:02:59,074 She bangs strangers at the people's choice awards 74 00:02:59,141 --> 00:03:01,009 and then steal's their people's choice awards. 75 00:03:01,077 --> 00:03:02,644 Everyone please notice 76 00:03:02,712 --> 00:03:05,213 that it's not the black guy talking in the movie theater. 77 00:03:08,517 --> 00:03:11,720 ♪ Ba-da-ba ♪ 78 00:03:11,787 --> 00:03:13,888 Ha! I knew that you'd have to pee 79 00:03:13,956 --> 00:03:15,956 after all that diet soda that you were share-drinking. 80 00:03:16,024 --> 00:03:18,092 What the hell is going on? 81 00:03:18,159 --> 00:03:19,326 What are you doing? 82 00:03:19,393 --> 00:03:22,096 I saw you sharing popcorn 83 00:03:22,163 --> 00:03:25,198 and resting your head on a boy's shoulder. 84 00:03:25,266 --> 00:03:26,834 You're on a date. 85 00:03:26,901 --> 00:03:28,902 Okay, fine. I've been seeing this guy Benjamin. 86 00:03:28,970 --> 00:03:30,703 I kinda like him, but I didn't say anything, 87 00:03:30,771 --> 00:03:32,905 because I knew you'd make a big deal about it. 88 00:03:32,973 --> 00:03:35,775 You have a boyfriend! Look, we're just hanging out, okay? 89 00:03:35,843 --> 00:03:38,011 But I do find myself doodling hearts 90 00:03:38,078 --> 00:03:40,613 instead of babies with big balls. 91 00:03:40,681 --> 00:03:42,615 That is adorable. I wanna meet him. 92 00:03:42,683 --> 00:03:44,416 What? No. Absolutely not. 93 00:03:44,484 --> 00:03:46,619 Yes. I'll cook for the two of you, and we'll all get together, 94 00:03:46,686 --> 00:03:48,186 and we'll play scattergories. 95 00:03:48,254 --> 00:03:49,420 Ugh. Fine. One dinner. 96 00:03:49,488 --> 00:03:51,757 But do not make that fish thing you make. 97 00:03:51,824 --> 00:03:52,724 My Halibut wheels? 98 00:03:52,792 --> 00:03:54,760 Fish are not round. 99 00:03:54,827 --> 00:03:57,729 ♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba ♪ 100 00:03:57,797 --> 00:03:59,965 So where did you two meet? 101 00:04:00,033 --> 00:04:02,400 Oh, James' Halloween party last year. 102 00:04:02,468 --> 00:04:05,536 See? I knew Halloween was a good time to meet somebody. 103 00:04:05,603 --> 00:04:08,338 This year, my plan is to get a cute guy's phone number. 104 00:04:08,406 --> 00:04:10,741 Yeah, Chloe was dressed as a flight attendant... 105 00:04:10,809 --> 00:04:12,810 And I asked her for more peanuts. 106 00:04:12,878 --> 00:04:14,812 And at first, I had no idea what he was talking about... 107 00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:16,613 Right. And I was like, "get your own damn peanuts." 108 00:04:16,682 --> 00:04:18,082 And then I realized, and I was like, 109 00:04:18,150 --> 00:04:19,549 "oh, peanuts." Peanuts. 110 00:04:19,616 --> 00:04:21,084 Yeah, but we didn't actually 111 00:04:21,152 --> 00:04:22,852 start dating until, uh, last month. 112 00:04:22,920 --> 00:04:24,587 We bumped into each other at the Chelsea market. 113 00:04:24,655 --> 00:04:26,823 He was buying corn. I love corn. I can't get enough corn. 114 00:04:26,891 --> 00:04:29,793 And I was buying Rosemary-mint bath salts for my dry skin. 115 00:04:29,860 --> 00:04:31,828 No, you said that you'd heard that if you smoked them, 116 00:04:31,896 --> 00:04:33,897 you'd try to cut out a person's tongue and eat it. 117 00:04:33,964 --> 00:04:35,530 That is what I said. Remember? 118 00:04:35,598 --> 00:04:37,733 That's what I said. And I thought it was so charming. 119 00:04:37,801 --> 00:04:39,902 I can be charming. And, uh, yeah, 120 00:04:39,969 --> 00:04:41,704 we've been spending time together ever since. 121 00:04:41,771 --> 00:04:43,939 Ever since. 122 00:04:45,608 --> 00:04:47,275 Wow. 123 00:04:47,343 --> 00:04:48,643 You guys... 124 00:04:48,712 --> 00:04:50,412 You guys are perfect together. 125 00:04:50,479 --> 00:04:53,114 I agree. You two are adorbs. 126 00:04:53,182 --> 00:04:54,248 Thanks, Eli. 127 00:04:54,316 --> 00:04:55,917 Oh. 128 00:04:55,984 --> 00:04:58,352 Someone order a stripper? 129 00:04:58,420 --> 00:05:00,955 ♪ Mm, mm, mm, mm ♪ m-may I help you? 130 00:05:01,023 --> 00:05:02,957 Hey, man. Guys, this is my best friend Zonk. 131 00:05:03,025 --> 00:05:04,291 I told him to meet me here. 132 00:05:04,359 --> 00:05:05,860 We're gonna head to the hockey game. 133 00:05:08,129 --> 00:05:10,797 Did you just summon up snot only to swallow it down? 134 00:05:10,865 --> 00:05:12,766 I did. Chicks like it. 135 00:05:12,834 --> 00:05:14,267 That and the way I eat peaches. 136 00:05:14,335 --> 00:05:15,602 I'll call you later, sweetie. 137 00:05:15,669 --> 00:05:17,503 - Okay, bye. Mm. - Bye. 138 00:05:17,571 --> 00:05:19,039 Adieu. 139 00:05:19,107 --> 00:05:21,141 Okay, bye. See you later. 140 00:05:21,209 --> 00:05:22,342 Bye. 141 00:05:22,409 --> 00:05:24,343 Chloe, I am shocked. 142 00:05:24,410 --> 00:05:26,511 I never pegged you as the relationship type, 143 00:05:26,579 --> 00:05:27,713 but Benjamin is so great. 144 00:05:27,781 --> 00:05:29,648 You guys seem so happy together, 145 00:05:29,716 --> 00:05:32,752 and you could tell that he really... he really likes you. 146 00:05:32,819 --> 00:05:34,586 Really? Do you think so? 147 00:05:34,654 --> 00:05:37,790 Oh, absolutely. This is my area of expertise. 148 00:05:37,858 --> 00:05:40,925 Great. So it'll hurt that much more when I totally destroy him! 149 00:05:40,993 --> 00:05:43,128 Oh, I would throw my head back 150 00:05:43,195 --> 00:05:45,563 and do my evil Halloween laugh, but my neck hurts 151 00:05:45,631 --> 00:05:48,566 and my throat kinda does, too. 152 00:05:57,126 --> 00:05:58,693 What do you mean "destroy him"? 153 00:05:58,761 --> 00:06:01,428 Every Halloween, I pick a person who annoys me, 154 00:06:01,496 --> 00:06:03,731 I figure out their deepest, darkest fears... 155 00:06:03,799 --> 00:06:05,299 what would psychologically break them 156 00:06:05,367 --> 00:06:06,800 and ruin their lives forever... 157 00:06:06,868 --> 00:06:08,835 and then the next Halloween, 158 00:06:08,903 --> 00:06:10,270 I do it. 159 00:06:13,708 --> 00:06:15,142 Wait. You've never seen "The Wire"? 160 00:06:15,209 --> 00:06:17,844 I'm gonna spend the next hour telling you how good it is. 161 00:06:17,912 --> 00:06:19,546 Got it. 162 00:06:19,613 --> 00:06:21,481 ...goes to the docks. Five seasons... 163 00:06:21,549 --> 00:06:23,182 You were my hypnotist? 164 00:06:23,249 --> 00:06:25,117 You were supposed to help me quit smoking, 165 00:06:25,185 --> 00:06:27,419 not start touching my junk in public. 166 00:06:27,487 --> 00:06:29,088 Well, you stopped smoking, didn't you? 167 00:06:29,156 --> 00:06:31,891 Yes, because my hands are always busy touching my junk. 168 00:06:31,958 --> 00:06:35,294 And why did you make the trigger word my name? 169 00:06:35,361 --> 00:06:36,595 Hey, Victor. 170 00:06:36,663 --> 00:06:38,597 Oh, no. 171 00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:45,603 I struggle with it because I'm such a private person, 172 00:06:45,671 --> 00:06:47,405 but finally, I was like, "yes, Chelsea Clinton, 173 00:06:47,472 --> 00:06:49,473 I will be in your wedding." 174 00:06:49,541 --> 00:06:51,642 Got it. 175 00:06:51,711 --> 00:06:54,245 You were my nutritionist? 176 00:06:54,313 --> 00:06:56,213 I cooked everything with lard. 177 00:06:56,280 --> 00:06:57,547 Everything. 178 00:06:59,718 --> 00:07:01,919 That's why I love being a director... 179 00:07:01,986 --> 00:07:05,889 crafting moments, taking the audience on a journey... 180 00:07:05,957 --> 00:07:07,891 and that's why it was so satisfying 181 00:07:07,959 --> 00:07:09,193 directing you in "love monster." 182 00:07:09,260 --> 00:07:10,794 Some of my best work. 183 00:07:10,862 --> 00:07:12,629 Got it. 184 00:07:12,697 --> 00:07:14,431 You know, everyone told me... they said, 185 00:07:14,498 --> 00:07:15,865 "don't sign on to a chick flick 186 00:07:15,933 --> 00:07:17,634 where you fall in love with a giant pink puppet," 187 00:07:17,702 --> 00:07:20,002 but I said to them... I said, "no..." 188 00:07:20,070 --> 00:07:21,504 I need money." 189 00:07:23,341 --> 00:07:25,007 I had to dig deep to find his biggest fear 190 00:07:25,075 --> 00:07:27,276 and then construct the perfect trick. 191 00:07:27,344 --> 00:07:29,111 I needed to make him fall in love 192 00:07:29,178 --> 00:07:31,280 with a woman who reminded him of his mother. 193 00:07:31,348 --> 00:07:33,482 She walked out on him when he was 7 years old, 194 00:07:33,550 --> 00:07:34,583 and they were watching "facts of life," 195 00:07:34,651 --> 00:07:35,751 and she never came back. 196 00:07:35,818 --> 00:07:38,387 I'd have to do the old pump and dump. 197 00:07:38,455 --> 00:07:41,223 Is that a thing? It is, and I'll explain it now. 198 00:07:41,291 --> 00:07:44,024 The pump and dump... have sex with him in his childhood bed 199 00:07:44,092 --> 00:07:46,093 while listening to the theme song of "facts of life" 200 00:07:46,161 --> 00:07:49,330 and then dump him. No way. I do not buy this for one second. 201 00:07:49,398 --> 00:07:51,999 I saw you and Benjamin together. You guys were so great. 202 00:07:52,067 --> 00:07:54,402 I mean, you guys... you were finishing each other's... 203 00:07:54,470 --> 00:07:56,271 sentences? Yes, I could do that with anyone. 204 00:07:56,338 --> 00:07:57,805 But it's so... 205 00:07:57,873 --> 00:07:59,307 brilliant. Yes, I am kind of a... 206 00:07:59,375 --> 00:08:01,809 bitch? Genius. See? You can't do it. 207 00:08:05,446 --> 00:08:09,016 Of all of Chloe's sick plans, this one is the sickest. 208 00:08:09,084 --> 00:08:11,919 I mean, doesn't she realize that cute funny guys like Benjamin 209 00:08:11,987 --> 00:08:13,788 are hard to find? They don't exist. 210 00:08:13,855 --> 00:08:15,522 I mean, they sometimes do. 211 00:08:15,590 --> 00:08:19,592 Especially ones that you feel completely comfortable around. 212 00:08:19,660 --> 00:08:21,094 Uh... 213 00:08:21,162 --> 00:08:22,495 Uh... 214 00:08:22,562 --> 00:08:24,530 Look, June, look, I think it's great 215 00:08:24,598 --> 00:08:26,232 that you care about your friend, 216 00:08:26,300 --> 00:08:29,102 but maybe just concentrate on having your own fun Halloween. 217 00:08:29,170 --> 00:08:31,137 No. I need to make Chloe change her mind 218 00:08:31,205 --> 00:08:33,371 and... and give love a shot. 219 00:08:33,439 --> 00:08:37,910 ♪ I want the world to celebrate ♪ 220 00:08:44,450 --> 00:08:46,885 ♪ I wanna come home ♪ 221 00:08:46,953 --> 00:08:49,020 A lady hobbit? That's awesome. 222 00:08:49,087 --> 00:08:52,323 Oh, thanks. It's reflective of my journey of self-discovery. 223 00:08:52,390 --> 00:08:55,293 And plus, I was like, what does every single girl want? A ring. 224 00:08:55,360 --> 00:08:57,528 Some guys want that, too. Excuse me for just a second. 225 00:08:59,031 --> 00:09:00,164 Sorry. 226 00:09:00,232 --> 00:09:01,165 Bye. 227 00:09:01,233 --> 00:09:02,133 Mm. 228 00:09:02,201 --> 00:09:04,334 Oh, my God! Oh, no. 229 00:09:04,401 --> 00:09:06,837 Your first single Halloween in 40 years, 230 00:09:06,904 --> 00:09:08,571 and this is your costume?! 231 00:09:08,639 --> 00:09:10,106 It is reflective of my journey... 232 00:09:10,174 --> 00:09:11,641 you have hair on your feet! 233 00:09:11,709 --> 00:09:14,044 It has to be authentic, or else what are we even doing?! 234 00:09:15,346 --> 00:09:17,480 I've been thinking, and I know you. 235 00:09:17,548 --> 00:09:19,915 You can't go through with this Benjamin thing. 236 00:09:19,983 --> 00:09:21,917 Oh, please. It's all for the trick. 237 00:09:21,985 --> 00:09:23,452 I've already subconsciously 238 00:09:23,519 --> 00:09:24,854 started reminding him of his mother. 239 00:09:24,921 --> 00:09:26,488 She was a bus driver. 240 00:09:26,556 --> 00:09:27,923 I sexed it up a little bit. 241 00:09:27,991 --> 00:09:29,925 I saw pictures of her, and she was not sexy. 242 00:09:29,993 --> 00:09:32,394 I mean, maybe to some people, but not to me. 243 00:09:32,462 --> 00:09:34,563 Once you realize how perfect you are together, 244 00:09:34,630 --> 00:09:36,898 you will not be able to break his heart. 245 00:09:36,932 --> 00:09:40,034 That's why I made you a video about your love. 246 00:09:40,102 --> 00:09:41,602 It's set to a train song, 247 00:09:41,670 --> 00:09:43,938 and I didn't have any pictures of Benjamin, 248 00:09:44,006 --> 00:09:46,640 so I just used clips of Dave from "Happy Endings." 249 00:09:46,708 --> 00:09:48,776 ♪ hey, soul sister ♪ 250 00:09:48,844 --> 00:09:50,778 ♪ ain't that mister mister ♪ 251 00:09:50,846 --> 00:09:53,546 ♪ on the radio stereo ♪ 252 00:09:53,614 --> 00:09:55,949 ♪ the way you move ain't fair, you know ♪ 253 00:09:56,017 --> 00:09:57,117 ♪ hey ♪ 254 00:10:01,522 --> 00:10:03,390 Why is my weekend doorman Mario here? 255 00:10:03,457 --> 00:10:05,092 He came! 256 00:10:06,727 --> 00:10:07,694 Huh. 257 00:10:09,462 --> 00:10:12,564 Ugh. Uh, that is not positive. Take that off immediately. 258 00:10:12,632 --> 00:10:14,367 Luther, grab the emergency pikachu costume. 259 00:10:14,434 --> 00:10:15,768 No, I'm a devil. 260 00:10:15,835 --> 00:10:17,436 I'm not playing your game. 261 00:10:17,504 --> 00:10:19,471 You think because you're a celebrity 262 00:10:19,539 --> 00:10:20,973 you can change the meaning of the holiday? 263 00:10:21,041 --> 00:10:22,708 Yes. Just say the word, James. 264 00:10:22,776 --> 00:10:26,177 Say the word, and I will tase this gentleman... Mario. 265 00:10:26,245 --> 00:10:29,247 Hi. I'm a cherub. 266 00:10:31,250 --> 00:10:33,718 ♪ Tonight ♪ 267 00:10:36,355 --> 00:10:38,756 You're a pretty good editor. 268 00:10:38,824 --> 00:10:41,825 Okay. If you won't stop this trick, then I will. 269 00:10:41,893 --> 00:10:44,661 Fine. Go and tell him. There's no way he's gonna believe you. 270 00:10:44,729 --> 00:10:45,695 He's in the bathroom. 271 00:10:47,265 --> 00:10:48,865 You know, I'm actually a fireman. 272 00:10:48,934 --> 00:10:50,567 We... we will never forget. 273 00:10:53,071 --> 00:10:55,806 Sorry it took so long. 274 00:10:55,873 --> 00:10:57,873 I have to take off all my clothes to go. 275 00:11:02,346 --> 00:11:03,279 Ugh. 276 00:11:03,347 --> 00:11:05,748 I took a shower. 277 00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:12,321 A trophy for synchronized swimming. 278 00:11:12,388 --> 00:11:14,323 So cool. 279 00:11:14,390 --> 00:11:16,191 You know, no girl I've dated 280 00:11:16,259 --> 00:11:18,526 has ever wanted to see where I grew up before. 281 00:11:18,594 --> 00:11:20,728 At least not so early on. 282 00:11:20,796 --> 00:11:23,832 Well, I guess it makes me feel that much closer to you. 283 00:11:26,836 --> 00:11:28,302 Should I put some music on? 284 00:11:28,370 --> 00:11:30,871 Sure. 285 00:11:30,939 --> 00:11:34,408 ♪ whatever happened to predictability? ♪ 286 00:11:34,476 --> 00:11:36,610 Is this... 287 00:11:36,678 --> 00:11:38,245 The "full house" theme song? 288 00:11:38,313 --> 00:11:41,282 Oh, I don't know. Is it? I just put it on random. 289 00:11:41,350 --> 00:11:43,784 ♪ Waiting just around the bend ♪ 290 00:11:43,852 --> 00:11:45,218 ♪ everywhere you look ♪ 291 00:11:45,286 --> 00:11:49,122 Oh, my God. Is that you? Your hair was huge. 292 00:11:49,190 --> 00:11:51,757 Yeah. Yeah. My mom got a perm, 293 00:11:51,825 --> 00:11:53,593 and I wanted to be just like her. 294 00:11:53,660 --> 00:11:56,096 I did everything my mom did, 295 00:11:56,163 --> 00:11:59,999 you know, other than abandon our family. 296 00:12:00,066 --> 00:12:03,568 ♪ When you're lost out there, and you're all alone ♪ 297 00:12:03,636 --> 00:12:06,905 ♪ a light is waiting to carry you home ♪ 298 00:12:06,973 --> 00:12:08,240 I can't do this. 299 00:12:08,308 --> 00:12:10,642 Is it the song? No. The song is perfect. 300 00:12:10,710 --> 00:12:13,345 It's, um... 301 00:12:13,413 --> 00:12:15,114 Look, 302 00:12:15,181 --> 00:12:17,048 Ben... 303 00:12:17,116 --> 00:12:19,017 We haven't really been dating. 304 00:12:19,084 --> 00:12:22,854 I've been playing a Halloween trick on you. 305 00:12:22,922 --> 00:12:24,823 I've been making your deepest fears come true 306 00:12:24,891 --> 00:12:26,892 by reminding you of your mother 307 00:12:26,959 --> 00:12:28,860 and then having sex with you and dumping you. 308 00:12:30,530 --> 00:12:31,863 But I can't do it. 309 00:12:31,931 --> 00:12:33,463 You seem like a nice guy, 310 00:12:33,532 --> 00:12:36,199 and this doesn't feel fun anymore. 311 00:12:37,836 --> 00:12:39,803 I know. 312 00:12:39,871 --> 00:12:41,071 What? 313 00:12:41,139 --> 00:12:42,339 I said I know. 314 00:12:42,407 --> 00:12:44,241 Are you Australian? 315 00:12:44,308 --> 00:12:45,943 Yes. Indeed I am. 316 00:12:46,011 --> 00:12:48,412 I've been one step ahead of you this whole time, Chloe. 317 00:12:48,479 --> 00:12:51,047 I have been watching and admiring your work 318 00:12:51,114 --> 00:12:52,348 for years. 319 00:12:52,416 --> 00:12:54,584 You were my hypnotist? 320 00:12:54,652 --> 00:12:57,186 You were supposed to help me quit smoking. 321 00:12:57,254 --> 00:12:59,789 You were my nutritionist? 322 00:12:59,857 --> 00:13:01,891 ...and the love scenes were a challenge. 323 00:13:01,959 --> 00:13:03,526 What's that girl's deal? 324 00:13:03,594 --> 00:13:05,661 What, Chloe? 325 00:13:05,728 --> 00:13:07,629 Oh. Her idea of a Halloween trick 326 00:13:07,697 --> 00:13:09,665 is to completely ruin somebody's life. 327 00:13:09,732 --> 00:13:10,966 You know, she's one of the people 328 00:13:11,034 --> 00:13:12,467 who told me not to do "love monster." 329 00:13:12,535 --> 00:13:14,169 She absolutely hates chick flicks. 330 00:13:14,236 --> 00:13:16,638 Got it. 331 00:13:16,706 --> 00:13:18,874 The moment you started being nice to me that night, 332 00:13:18,942 --> 00:13:20,908 I realized I was your next target, 333 00:13:20,976 --> 00:13:22,810 so then I started my Halloween trick 334 00:13:22,878 --> 00:13:26,380 of making your biggest fears come true... 335 00:13:26,448 --> 00:13:28,315 By forcing you to live a chick flick. 336 00:13:28,383 --> 00:13:31,052 That is my biggest fear. How did you do that? 337 00:13:31,119 --> 00:13:32,620 Think about it. When I told you 338 00:13:32,688 --> 00:13:34,822 that my mother walked on me, where were we? 339 00:13:34,890 --> 00:13:37,357 On a carriage ride in central park. 340 00:13:37,425 --> 00:13:38,892 And when I told you 341 00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:40,694 I had trouble trusting women after that? 342 00:13:40,761 --> 00:13:43,230 We were having a good-natured snowball fight. 343 00:13:43,298 --> 00:13:44,831 Don't you see? 344 00:13:44,899 --> 00:13:47,901 This whole time, I've been "revealing" myself to you, 345 00:13:47,969 --> 00:13:51,271 we were acting out chick flick cliches. 346 00:13:51,339 --> 00:13:53,172 But what about your mother? 347 00:13:53,240 --> 00:13:55,007 Spoke to her yesterday. She's my best friend. 348 00:13:55,075 --> 00:13:57,676 We're talking about taking a trip to Laos together. 349 00:13:57,744 --> 00:14:00,346 So you were the one tricking me? 350 00:14:00,414 --> 00:14:01,914 Oh, it's not over. 351 00:14:01,982 --> 00:14:03,483 We're only at the end of act two... 352 00:14:03,550 --> 00:14:05,318 you realizing that you care too much about me 353 00:14:05,385 --> 00:14:07,286 to go through with your trick. 354 00:14:07,354 --> 00:14:10,555 You've developed real feelings for me. No, I haven't. 355 00:14:10,623 --> 00:14:13,358 Well, I'm flying out of Laguardia at noon tomorrow 356 00:14:13,426 --> 00:14:15,793 to shoot a new movie in Prague. 357 00:14:15,861 --> 00:14:19,197 Who knows if we'll ever see each other again. 358 00:14:19,265 --> 00:14:20,365 Unless... 359 00:14:20,433 --> 00:14:23,568 You chase me down in the airport 360 00:14:23,636 --> 00:14:25,470 and make a heartfelt plea for love. 361 00:14:28,641 --> 00:14:31,943 Good luck not meeting me there. 362 00:14:36,115 --> 00:14:38,650 Happy Halloween. 363 00:14:38,717 --> 00:14:41,185 Is this even your house? 364 00:14:41,253 --> 00:14:43,620 Nope. A furnished rental. 365 00:14:52,095 --> 00:14:53,911 Benjamin was tricking you? 366 00:14:53,979 --> 00:14:55,713 I cannot believe he beat me at my own game. 367 00:14:55,781 --> 00:14:57,749 Forcing me to live in a chick flick?! 368 00:14:57,816 --> 00:15:00,417 No, that... that is not true. I am the queen of chick flicks. 369 00:15:00,485 --> 00:15:03,354 I know every beat. If this were a chick flick... 370 00:15:03,421 --> 00:15:05,656 you'd be the quirky, unlucky-in-love best friend. 371 00:15:05,723 --> 00:15:07,590 What? You give advice to the main character, 372 00:15:07,659 --> 00:15:10,326 you put aside your own agenda to service hers. 373 00:15:10,394 --> 00:15:12,763 Now I understand why Benjamin's friend was so gross. 374 00:15:12,830 --> 00:15:14,230 For this. 375 00:15:14,298 --> 00:15:15,331 For you. 376 00:15:15,399 --> 00:15:17,000 What are you talking about? 377 00:15:17,068 --> 00:15:19,703 Zonk is the guy that you end up with in the movie. 378 00:15:19,771 --> 00:15:22,772 He's the Jonah hill/jim belushi/ Zach Galifianakis 379 00:15:22,839 --> 00:15:27,076 to your Joan Cusack/Lisa Kudrow/ Janeane Garofalo. 380 00:15:27,144 --> 00:15:30,612 I am not the supporting player. 381 00:15:30,681 --> 00:15:32,214 Am I? 382 00:15:32,282 --> 00:15:33,949 I can't go to the airport because then Benjamin will win! 383 00:15:34,017 --> 00:15:36,351 But if I don't go, then he will have had the last con, 384 00:15:36,419 --> 00:15:38,452 and he still wins. What are you looking for? 385 00:15:38,554 --> 00:15:39,921 I suddenly have the urge to bake. 386 00:15:39,989 --> 00:15:42,691 I want to put on sweatpants and bake for some reason. 387 00:15:42,792 --> 00:15:44,693 Oh, God. 388 00:15:44,794 --> 00:15:46,527 Turn it on, June. 389 00:15:48,097 --> 00:15:49,430 Take it off. No. 390 00:15:49,498 --> 00:15:51,132 Take it off. I'll take off my costume 391 00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:53,533 if you take off your fear. 392 00:15:53,601 --> 00:15:54,868 Um, okay. 393 00:15:54,936 --> 00:15:57,370 So I'm gonna go. 394 00:15:57,438 --> 00:15:59,573 You know who that was? 395 00:15:59,640 --> 00:16:01,141 That was the last girl standing. 396 00:16:01,209 --> 00:16:02,976 She was waiting for you to leave so she could have sex with me, 397 00:16:03,044 --> 00:16:04,544 but you never did. 398 00:16:04,612 --> 00:16:06,780 So now Cheyenne has to go back to work at the pharmacy 399 00:16:06,848 --> 00:16:08,582 having not had sex with a TV star. 400 00:16:08,649 --> 00:16:11,050 You ruined her life and my party. 401 00:16:11,118 --> 00:16:13,452 You ruined your party. What's your problem, man? 402 00:16:13,520 --> 00:16:15,621 What is underneath this fear of Halloween? 403 00:16:15,689 --> 00:16:17,090 I just think it's scary. 404 00:16:17,157 --> 00:16:18,858 Yes, but what's underneath that? 405 00:16:18,926 --> 00:16:20,459 Nothing. I just don't like scary stuff. 406 00:16:20,527 --> 00:16:23,096 Maybe you were the one avoiding that sexy bunny girl. 407 00:16:23,163 --> 00:16:24,697 Because maybe you'd hit it off 408 00:16:24,764 --> 00:16:26,064 and you'd go out on a date with her 409 00:16:26,132 --> 00:16:28,066 and you'd eventually move in together too soon 410 00:16:28,134 --> 00:16:29,801 because her parents cosigned 411 00:16:29,869 --> 00:16:31,970 on an apartment in the meatpacking district 412 00:16:32,038 --> 00:16:33,872 with not enough room for your records 413 00:16:33,940 --> 00:16:36,441 and her madame Alexander doll collection! 414 00:16:36,508 --> 00:16:39,778 You're talking about you. Yeah, I don't love my girlfriend! 415 00:16:46,017 --> 00:16:47,384 I win. 416 00:16:47,452 --> 00:16:51,555 Mario doesn't like to hold hands on the subway. 417 00:16:51,623 --> 00:16:53,023 I don't know. 418 00:16:53,091 --> 00:16:56,293 - I just... - I don't know. 419 00:16:56,361 --> 00:16:59,028 I mean, we'll see, 420 00:16:59,096 --> 00:17:01,231 but... I don't know. 421 00:17:04,635 --> 00:17:05,769 Oh. 422 00:17:05,836 --> 00:17:07,771 Mark, where are you? We are slammed. 423 00:17:07,838 --> 00:17:11,574 It is the post-Halloween, hungover, walk-of-shame crowd. 424 00:17:11,642 --> 00:17:13,408 I just had a pretty intense realization. 425 00:17:13,476 --> 00:17:14,943 Can you cover for me? 426 00:17:15,011 --> 00:17:16,845 Yeah, it's not like I've got anything going on 427 00:17:16,913 --> 00:17:18,914 good. Thanks. Bye. 428 00:17:18,982 --> 00:17:21,183 No one cares what's going on in my life. 429 00:17:21,251 --> 00:17:22,651 I wanted to get a guy's phone number, 430 00:17:22,718 --> 00:17:25,187 and I walked away from a cute fireman just to help... 431 00:17:26,990 --> 00:17:28,490 Ahh. 432 00:17:28,557 --> 00:17:33,127 What are we gonna do with those two, huh? 433 00:17:33,195 --> 00:17:35,362 Nope. No, Zonk, I'm not doing this. 434 00:17:35,430 --> 00:17:37,531 I am not gonna be the quirky best friend 435 00:17:37,599 --> 00:17:40,134 who is more involved with Chloe's love life than my own. 436 00:17:40,202 --> 00:17:42,870 But I have info that could change everything. 437 00:17:42,938 --> 00:17:45,105 Benjamin's not gonna direct "love monster 2." 438 00:17:45,173 --> 00:17:48,441 He backed out because of Chloe's hatred of chick flicks. 439 00:17:48,509 --> 00:17:50,977 Don't you get it? He really does like her. 440 00:17:51,045 --> 00:17:53,013 This wasn't all just a scam. 441 00:17:53,080 --> 00:17:56,349 That doesn't change anything. 442 00:17:56,417 --> 00:17:57,918 Except everything. 443 00:18:03,623 --> 00:18:05,858 Zonk just told me that Benjamin turned down 444 00:18:05,926 --> 00:18:08,060 directing "love monster 2" because of you. 445 00:18:08,128 --> 00:18:09,795 I mean, don't you get it? 446 00:18:09,863 --> 00:18:11,831 He really likes you. You have to go to the airport. 447 00:18:11,898 --> 00:18:13,498 Yeah. I know. I'm on my way there now. 448 00:18:13,566 --> 00:18:14,766 What do you mean, you know? 449 00:18:14,835 --> 00:18:15,968 I talked to a bee. A what? 450 00:18:16,036 --> 00:18:17,435 A Bumblebee. 451 00:18:17,502 --> 00:18:18,602 I was going out to get flour and eggs 452 00:18:18,670 --> 00:18:20,238 for my sudden baking urge, 453 00:18:20,306 --> 00:18:22,573 furious about being conned by Benjamin, 454 00:18:22,641 --> 00:18:25,210 when I fell into step with this bee. 455 00:18:25,277 --> 00:18:26,878 She noticed I looked well rested, 456 00:18:26,946 --> 00:18:29,047 not hungover, and that I smelled of deodorant, 457 00:18:29,114 --> 00:18:30,849 which means I must've slept at my own place, 458 00:18:30,916 --> 00:18:32,950 which is unusual for Halloween night. 459 00:18:33,017 --> 00:18:36,186 She asked me, pointing at my heart, "who got in there?" 460 00:18:36,254 --> 00:18:38,688 I was taken aback that she could read me so quickly, 461 00:18:38,756 --> 00:18:41,191 so I asked if she wanted to grab a cup of coffee. 462 00:18:41,259 --> 00:18:42,926 Well, I got a coffee. 463 00:18:42,994 --> 00:18:44,694 The bee ate a full lumberjack meal. 464 00:18:44,762 --> 00:18:46,363 Girlfriend was famished. 465 00:18:46,430 --> 00:18:49,665 Anyway, she made me realize why chick flicks are so popular. 466 00:18:49,733 --> 00:18:52,468 Because deep down, everyone, no matter how cynical, 467 00:18:52,535 --> 00:18:53,936 wants a happy ending. 468 00:19:03,446 --> 00:19:05,881 She told me that the only way out of a chick flick 469 00:19:05,948 --> 00:19:07,682 is through it, 470 00:19:07,750 --> 00:19:10,185 that it's not whether I go to the airport or not, 471 00:19:10,253 --> 00:19:14,055 it's what I do when I get there that matters. 472 00:19:14,123 --> 00:19:15,757 So I'm on my way to the airport now. 473 00:19:15,824 --> 00:19:17,725 Wait. So I didn't help you at all? 474 00:19:17,793 --> 00:19:21,061 Well, I like to be on the phone when I hail a cab, so kinda. 475 00:19:21,129 --> 00:19:24,765 Wow. I am so glad somebody else helped you figure this out. 476 00:19:24,832 --> 00:19:27,268 Maybe I'm not just the supporting player after all. 477 00:19:41,949 --> 00:19:45,818 Chloe, please pick up a white courtesy phone. 478 00:19:47,087 --> 00:19:48,021 Hello? 479 00:19:48,088 --> 00:19:49,455 I knew you'd come. 480 00:19:54,928 --> 00:19:57,029 I had to tell you something. 481 00:19:57,096 --> 00:19:58,163 I like you. 482 00:19:58,231 --> 00:19:59,898 Yeah. Right. 483 00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:03,235 No, I really do. 484 00:20:03,303 --> 00:20:05,603 Yes, it started out as a trick, 485 00:20:05,671 --> 00:20:07,439 until I realized that you were messing with me, 486 00:20:07,506 --> 00:20:10,274 and no one's ever beat me at my own game before. 487 00:20:10,342 --> 00:20:12,776 I like you. 488 00:20:12,844 --> 00:20:15,279 I... 489 00:20:16,881 --> 00:20:18,282 I can't tell what's happening. 490 00:20:18,350 --> 00:20:19,750 I know. 491 00:20:19,818 --> 00:20:22,286 You're wondering, is she still messing with me 492 00:20:22,354 --> 00:20:23,887 or is she finally being honest? 493 00:20:23,956 --> 00:20:26,122 Because maybe her biggest fear isn't being in a chick flick 494 00:20:26,190 --> 00:20:28,224 but actually having feelings for someone. 495 00:20:28,292 --> 00:20:30,660 There's no way to know, 496 00:20:30,727 --> 00:20:33,063 which means I win. 497 00:20:33,130 --> 00:20:35,999 Well, I thought you were gonna report me as a terrorist, 498 00:20:36,067 --> 00:20:39,769 so I told T.S.A. You have a switchblade in your purse. 499 00:20:39,837 --> 00:20:41,070 But I don't. 500 00:20:41,137 --> 00:20:43,439 You do. 501 00:20:48,911 --> 00:20:51,813 Wait. I'm confused. So... so you like me? 502 00:20:51,881 --> 00:20:53,949 Do I? 503 00:20:54,017 --> 00:20:56,218 You know we're gonna see each other again, right? 504 00:20:56,286 --> 00:20:57,885 This isn't the end of our story. 505 00:20:57,953 --> 00:20:59,020 I know. 506 00:20:59,088 --> 00:21:00,821 See you in the sequel. 507 00:21:03,025 --> 00:21:04,558 Oh, please. The sequel's never as good as the original. 508 00:21:04,626 --> 00:21:06,494 Mind your own weave-wax, sweetie. 509 00:21:13,655 --> 00:21:14,922 Excuse me. 510 00:21:14,989 --> 00:21:17,191 I've been to every firehouse in Manhattan. 511 00:21:17,259 --> 00:21:20,293 I'm trying to find this cute fireman that I met on Halloween. 512 00:21:22,596 --> 00:21:24,364 'Sup? 513 00:21:24,432 --> 00:21:25,498 No! 514 00:21:25,566 --> 00:21:27,667 God! I don't believe this! 515 00:21:27,734 --> 00:21:28,801 Believe it. 516 00:21:28,869 --> 00:21:30,303 This is happening. 517 00:21:30,371 --> 00:21:33,473 Are you even in shape enough to be a fireman? 518 00:21:33,541 --> 00:21:34,607 I'm the cook. 519 00:21:34,675 --> 00:21:38,177 Franklin Zonkowski, firehouse chef. 520 00:21:38,244 --> 00:21:40,912 They let me slide down the pole when I got a bitch to impress. 521 00:21:40,980 --> 00:21:42,314 Ugh. 522 00:21:42,434 --> 00:21:48,371 Sync & corrections by wilson0804 www.Addic7ed.com